isnt punctuation and capitalization great it really makes me smile

I'm sorry. It's me, not you. We're just...grammatically incompatible.

A guy walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "What'll it be?" The guy replied, "One beer, please."

My connection is slow. Who's using all the internet?!

I could really go for some double entendre a la mode.

If you're not reading The Good Thief's Guide series, you need to be.

My PhD proving I'm a real doctor: http://sdrv.ms/IZt1AQ